They say writing can be therapeutic...we'll see how this goes.
As my Dad nears the end of his life here on earth, I can't help but question why and what and how. Why did he have to get sick? Why does he have to die at a younger age? Why did he and my Mom have to die of cancer? Why does cancer exist? Why can't he be healed? Why does he have to suffer? Why can't he be here to see Annabelle walk and talk and run around? Why can't he be here to help me plant my garden at my first house? Why can't he be here to see my little boy (no, I am definitely not pregnant) in a few years and show him how to play golf? What is it that he needs to do in heaven that is so important right now? I lost my mother at 20, why do I have to lose my father at 25?
Obviously, I don't know the answers to any of these questions. I know Heavenly Father has a plan and I know everything happens for a reason, but sometimes I think Heavenly Father thinks I am stronger than I am. I may be an adult, but I still need my Daddy. I need to call him and talk to him and hear all of his funny sayings and stories and listen to him tell me about his golf outings. I need his hugs and kisses! He's the best!
And here is the Caring Bridge web site we have created for him. My brothers and I go on there to update how he is doing.
Blah, anyways...I don't think writing is therapeutic. It just makes me cry more!
In happy news, our offer on a house has been accepted! Yay!!!!!!!! That's really all I know right now. We have to get it appraised and a survey done and the closing has to go through. We'll see, but still very exciting! Also, I am planning Annabelle's first birthday party! I'm pretty excited about it and we should definitely be in the house before her birthday! Yay!!! I can't believe she is getting so big. She crawls on her knees now and pulls up on everything. She'll stand in her pack and play (her crib is at our house and we are staying with my Dad for the time being) and scream for me to get her after she wakes up from naps. It's pretty dang cute! But this stage is a little nerve wracking because now she can hurt herself. She has bumped her head on chairs, tables and floors multiple times in the past week or two. Poor thing. Hopefully she will learn soon that you can't try to climb up everything. She is such a cutie! I just love her!
4 comments:
Kristin, I really am so sorry about your dad. I don't know firsthand, but I can imagine how hard it is. At least you are able to be with him and take care of him, and spend this special time with him.
It seems like a lot for you to deal with, but Heavenly Father knows just how strong you are. He knows you and loves you.
I am really excited about your happy news about the house...you'll have to keep us updated and post some pictures!
Thinking of you guys...Loves! SG
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I really admire your faith and all you are doing to help him feel as well as he can.
Kristin, Kristin. You are probably the strongest person I know. When I think I have a trial, I always think about you and it puts my life in perspective. Heavenly father knows how strong you are and is with you all through all of this! I wish there was something I could do or say to make the pain go away for you. All I kknow is I think there is going to be a really happy lady and a beautiful reuniting on the other side for both of them. You have an awesome hubby to help you through all of this and a BEAUTIFUL daughter to brighten your day in the darkest hours. I admire your faith and look up to you more than you know! We are praying for you. Congrats on the house, that is wonderful news and I cant wait to see pictures! I hope to be able to see you in April for B's birthday party! So crazy these babies are breaking our hearts every day they get older! xoxo
Kristin, I admire you so much for all you're doing for your dad. That can't be easy. Yet, you are so good at being strong and upbeat. What a blessing that must be for him. Love you.
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